Meet The Funkettes Page By John Bloodworth Gentleman Crafter Featured Image

Say Hello To The Funkettes And The Crappy Cracky

Hello to you! In this blog post, we will also be saying hello to The Funkettes. It’s not often these days that I do welcome them into my home however on this occasion they were actually a help, once they’d settled in.

Want to see how and why? Then read on chum, read on.

First let me remind you who The Funkettes are.

As some of you may know, I live with an ongoing depression and anxiety condition. It’s much tamer than it used to be, but it’s still around. Like an unwanted guest two days after Christmas.

The Funkettes are what I have nicknamed my down days. Those silly little blighters that pop in and make you feel like poo. I name them The Funkettes in a bid to make them seem less overwhelming, and more like a sixties Motown girl group – which I love!

Anyhoo, now you know., you have probably realised that they paid a visit recently. No reason, they just thought it was a while since they had seen me last.

The unfortunate side of these visits is that they can affect my creative mojo.

This week, however, I thought that I would see if I could turn that frown upside down and use them to my creative advantage as I think I may have done in the past.

It also gave me a reason to justify a recent, and rather indulgent, spending spree in Millers Art Store in Glasgow which saw me go in for a £3 brush and walk out with £90 worth of ‘stuff’.

So, how did I tie all of this together like the plot of a well written period drama? Well, I just got the stuff out of the bag and let the splodges and splashes of colour begin to guide me through what turned out to be a visual incarnation of The Funkettes.

So, nuff waffle, how’s about some pictures and whatever? I am probably best starting at the beginning.

First, splishy spashy colour.

Meet The Funkettes Mixed Media Page by John Bloodworth Gentleman Crafter (1)

I’d like to make that more technical, but that’s what it was.

Drop some colour, see what happened and go with it. Maybe drop some more and see how that changed things. Keep on going until there was a colourful mess.

That’s how this works, right?

After watching paint dry, literally, I decided that it might be cool to add some texture so I had a slow rummage through my box of tricks and found some translucent texture paste.

Stencil drawer was plundered and a little spotty one was selected.

The paste was then half-heartedly dragged through it and the stencil removed.

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A quizzical eyebrow raise later and I kinda liked it.

Cup of tea number umpteen made and I noticed that the colour from the page had been ‘lifted’ by the texture paste and gave it almost a blistered look.

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Meet The Funkettes Mixed Media Page by John Bloodworth Gentleman Crafter (4)Meet The Funkettes Mixed Media Page by John Bloodworth Gentleman Crafter (4)

My brain began to lift from a lack of mojo and began turning it’s cogs.

Now, what next?

Time for some more splishy splashy I reckon. This time with a little more intent. Not entirely sure what, if anything I was aiming for, but this is what I ended up with.

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Meet The Funkettes Mixed Media Page by John Bloodworth Gentleman Crafter (7)

Very suggestive of a little rascal peeking in to see what mischief he could get up to.

Decided to run with that.

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Hmm. Now, it’s not often that a Funkette will arrive alone so he/she/it needed a mate to make mischief with.

I made this by snipping up some of the waste from some splishy splashy paper and chopping off the tail to make it look like they were coming in through the portal/window.

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Meet The Funkettes Mixed Media Page by John Bloodworth Gentleman Crafter (11)

They do look michevious don’t they?!

Continuing to build on the page I added a whitewashed border with a mix of crackle paste, translucent white paint and sky blue paint.

Tried to speed up the drying, and perhaps the cracking, but that didn’t really do anything so I just chucked it on the windowsill to dry normally and went off to make another brew and have a pee.

TMI?

A further few mins later – didn’t really keep track of the time – and it was dry.

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Meet The Funkettes Mixed Media Page by John Bloodworth Gentleman Crafter (14)

Nice and distressed. In fact, pretty crappy-cracky! I’m not sure that phrase will catch on but it did make me giggle.

Now for some chin-stroking to decide what next.

I sort of decided that if I could be bothered that I would add some lettering so decided to look like a deranged nutter and cut some letters out of old magazines and paste them on, a-la ransom letter style.

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Thankfully it wasn’t a craft magazine. Also, thankfully I didn’t ask for a ransom for all of your craft stash – ‘Your craft stash for the safe return of your other half’… What do you mean I can keep the other half?!

Anyhoo, joking apart, I think that I needed to add something to the lettering so I traced over them with various pens and paint markers, just being totally haphazard.

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HANG ON!

They do say that trouble comes in threes so …

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Another little mischevious mate to muck things up.

I continued to mess about with the acrylic paint pens on the lettering and borders of the coloured bit and eventually decided that I had finished.

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Neat! Well, not neat in anyway shape or form but I still liked it.

Ok, I pretty much called it a day on this one – ready to see the finished thang?

Too late – hear it is.

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Seriously, joking aside, I actually ended up loving this. It really captured what I didn’t know that I was trying to convey.

The window into the mind. The malevolent mischief makers. The poster-style ad for The Funkettes.

Awesome!

Who knew that a condition such as this could, in fact, provide muse for a project?! Think I might invite them over more often – or maybe not.

Anyway, what did you think? This is not to everyone’s taste or style, but then it wasn’t meant to be I guess. Would you have added or removed anything? Was the lettering too much?

I would love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to pop them in the comments section below while I put the kettle on for ANOTHER brew. ;)

Also, if you made it this far – congratulations!

Lol. Right, that’s me done. Take care and I will see you again soon.

J :)

39 thoughts on “Say Hello To The Funkettes And The Crappy Cracky

  1. Hi john, love your colours and the dots especially once dried, keep up the inspired art, whether visited by the funkettes or not, hopefully less visited, ~ All part of your lovely creative uniqueness. Any of you out there no mojo means time to look at the sky, the trees, the colours in the bricks of a house, whether sunny or cloudy it all has its own beauty.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So much fun what a cracking idea. To put those irritating little funkettes on a poster and show them to the world, perhaps it will discourage them to buzz off and stop pecking at our heads. Your sharing helps to inspire so many of us, thank you muchly.

    Like

  3. Thanks for this John. The Funkettes. Hm. They visit. Giving them a visit to the paint and making splodges to show their naughty selves. Ah. The words are good too. I liked the way you kept doodling until you felt right with it. A good positive. Thanks for the sharing of it all.Francesxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. John I love this piece, well done for turning a dark mood, into such a positive picture, I’d change nothing…love your use of poster words. Hope your feeling much better, take care Love Doris.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thanks John. You never fail to do something fabulous with a bit of paint and paper. Have a bag of goggle eyes, and now some inspiration for using them .Thank the funkettes. Xx

    Liked by 2 people

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